Honestly, I have posted this on my previous website (when I was still on WIX), but I wanted to share this again to my readers. I highly recommend this book NOT ONLY to soon to be wives but also to the wives facing a marriage battle.
Triumph, according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, is a great success or achievement. Viviene, the author of 7 Things Every Wife Should Know, brought this same particular word to a different level on marriage. She made an acronym out of it that goes:
T – Triumphant Perspective
R – Respect and Submission
I – Independence
U – Unconditional Love
M – Marital Intimacy
P – Prudence
H – Humility
All of these key points are discussed in every chapter of this book, in relation to marriage, in being an “effective” wife. She has shared the responsibilities and some tips that wives should do.
But she has also mentioned that, “The success or failure of your marriage lies in both of you…Marriage is in your control.” I agree with that. As we are united as ONE, husband and wife, we are both accountable to make the marriage “work” and last for a lifetime. On the other hand, she told us, “Be thankful that God has given him to you as a lifetime partner.” That is once again true. We should be thankful that God has given us our dear husbands who will always be there to love and help us in every step of the way, until we get old.
As I am going on reading book, I can relate on ALMOST ALL of what she said. I am not newly wed or “almost” wed, but the things she shared on her book pierced my heart and mind a lot. Everything she said is a reality in a married a life. You could learn a lot of things that could make a BIG difference and HELP you to be a BETTER wife.
Let me share also with you some points from her book that hooked me:
“Expect that your spouse will make you feel miserable at times. He would make you feel unloved. He would make you feel insufficient…Because he is not perfect…You are not perfect either.”
Yes, we are not all perfect. He may have let you down sometimes, but we may not also be aware that we also make him feel bad at times. All we have to do is understand him, understand each other. Learn to FORGIVE. HOLD ON to each other.
“Learn to appreciate your husband.”
Like what Vivien said, there is NO PERFECT TIMING for that. We can show appreciation in every little thing he does. Simple things may mean GREAT things. He would feel being MORE LOVED for that. It will NOT COST A PENNY to say, “Thank you, I appreciate it,” or just simply, “Thank you.”
I practice this one and my husband, too. There was a time I asked my husband (after cooking a meal), “Pa, masarap ba luto ko?” Then he will respond, “Isa sa mga dahilan kaya kita pinakasalan ay dahil sa masarap kang magluto.” And he’ll repeat the “all-time” saying, “The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” This made me blush (haha!). See, this is a simple (and cute ^_^) way to appreciate your partner.
“Trust…Trust that he will provide and protect.”
One recent event (or trial) that we have encountered was financial shortage because both of our sons got sick a couple of weeks ago and our budget was spent on medicines for them. One night, I came home from work and my nanny told me that there were only a few scoops of formula milk (just enough for the night) left for my babies. My mind was already on a panic mode and my heart beat faster. We still need to wait for a week more before we could get our next salary and my money at hand is not enough to buy them milk. My hands were shaking while I grabbed my phone and I found myself crying while texting him this: “Pa! I-text mo ako agad pag nabasa mo ito.” My husband texted back asking why and what happened. I told him the reason. Then he replied to me, “Panu na?” Though my mind instructs me to tell him that he should know what I mean, and he should DO SOMETHING, I did not. I replied to him sadly, “Ewan ko. Sana makabili ako agad ng gatas nila the first thing in the morning. 😦 ”
I was worried the whole night and fell asleep around 1am. An hour passed, hubby came knocking at the door. He handled me an eco-bag with a big can of formula milk. He then told me, “Naiiyak ka na kanina ano?” I hugged him. I was speechless.
This scenario flashed back to me when Vivien said in her book, “Trust them. Trust that they can. Trust that they will do their best for our sake.” I got nothing to say but, hey, IT IS TRUE INDEED!
There are a lot more I have discovered and learned from this book. Respect… Accepting Differences… Communication… Sex (Yes, sex. ^_^)… Spoiling your husband… Quality time together… Budgeting… And GIVING BACK TO GOD.
At the end of each chapter is a special section where you:
Reflect – about yourself and your marriage
Read – related Gospel readings (from the Bible)
Respond – your action plan
Rest in Him – write a personalized prayer
How was it? – keep track of what’s happening in your marriage
There is also a “bonus” section in every chapter, “Real lives of real wives”. This includes testimonies of women with happy and contented married life where you can also get some tips based on their different experiences.
Let us all enjoy the married life and be the BEST wife we can be…NOT JUST in the eyes of our husbands but in the eyes of God. Kudos Vivien! Thank you for sharing this wonderful book!